the search. . .

Wat search ?!. . . i don't know, some kinda experiment to just see where i reach at the end of it all. so, where do i start - the search.

search - in literal terms means - Try to find something by looking or otherwise seeking carefully and thoroughly.

try means - make an attempt or effort to do something!

find - discover or perceive by chance or unexpectedly!

 something - a thing that is unspecified or unknown!

looking -  have a view or outlook in a specified direction!

otherwise - in circumstances different from those present or considered

seeking - attempt or desire to obtain or achieve

 carefully - taking care or paying attention

thoroughly - in an exhaustive manner. . .

hmmm. . . . let me just continue. . .with the BS!

now my search means something like this -[make an attempt or effort to do something!] to [discover or perceive by chance or unexpectedly!] [a thing that is unspecified or unknown!] by [having a view or outlook in a specified direction!] or [ in circumstances different from those present or considered] [attempt or desire to obtain or achieve] [taking care or paying attention] and [in an exhaustive manner. . . ]!

now have i understood the meaning of search?!. . . WELL, it means much more. . .or does it? is it getting complicated the more you try to understand or is it getting more diluted as you continue to search?! still the question remains unasked - What SEARCH?! or search WHAT? without understanding 'how' it is that we have to search for what we're searching for, how on earth can we go ahead and say it aloud, "the search for the meaning of life!" want to know more now. . . go ahead, now u know - how?! hmm, i guess how here is an answer and hence how. and not how?!. now that's about it. but if you wish to go on, then its.......

make means form (something) by putting parts together

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discover - Become aware of!

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unknown - stranger!

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outlook - general attitude to life

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circumstances - a fact or condition connected with or relevant to an event or action.

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attempt - an act of trying to achieve something!

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attention - the mental faculty of considering or taking notice of someone or something!

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exhaustive -  examining, including, or considering all elements or aspects

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 may you find the search for the meaning of life and let the world know and i'll be waiting! haha :)

two worlds . . . .

a moment here and a moment there, a step here and a step there. . . . thats how i live in a world of my own, can also be read a fantasy and real world . . . . .
if somebody gave me choice to pick one and leave the other, will i ever be able to make that call. i don't know. i can never be sure. why would i spend a moment here and a moment there. may be its because you need both in equal measure or else, one would never have fantasized or he who fantasizes may have never returned. with every passing moment we seek something, not really sure if we are sure of what we're seeking but nevertheless we seek. Its more of a question. until you find or get an answer, you can take solace in the other world.

BS. . . I know ! ! !

now if i end up posting this

did you guys miss ME! ! !

hmmmm!!!! hello folks. i am back after a long, in fact a really long hiatus. I am now here and don't know for how long, so as long as i am here, i am here to chill. I have got loads to share. i mean LOADS. I returned from a long ride across the country from the lowest plains to the worlds highest motor-able road. Yes we did it! from kanyakumari to kardungla. one month of rigorous riding in rain, shine and also in some pain. hmmm. . . I had a wonderful[cliche] time shooting pictures from 0 level to the top of the world.

And thus photography is what i am now trying see in a different perspective. what nonsense? I know!!!! what different perspective can there be to what you see in a photograph?! hmmm i realized it last night. In a conversation with a dancer, in the middle of a cold winter night at my home on the terrace. And he made an interesting comparison between a photographer and an artist. A photographer can reflect back what's for real while an artist is privileged to pick n choose what he wants from the reality to showcase. A photographer can NOT ignore the reality in which he's a part of while fantasizing while an artist can NOT be attached to the reality to fantasize. and THUS you have a frame.

Now the interesting part. Now there's a frame. I remember him telling me, how awe struck he was when he went to paris and saw monalisa! It was not what he saw in monalisa that caught his attention but the large painting opposite of her. It was colossal. That was art! for him. He wondered why monalisa was more famous than what he thought was a better artistic expression, staring at the frame opposite her. 'May be that's precisely what monalisa herself is wondering staring at that painting on the opposite wall and thinking - why you all jimmies staring at me', i told him.

The audience cannot expect anything from a painting, it has to be accepted the way its presented. Nothing is for real. At the most you can 'try', to imagine what went through the artist's mind while he stroked what you are staring at. just try! You're entitled to let you fantasy fly. But when you look into a picture you find yourself in a much easier place to be. You seem to believe this frame could have been better, the photographer could have done a li'l better with a li'l adjustment here n there. But who would ever understand and accept that the photographer was at that moment, in a position to just be able to do what you're looking at, nothing better nothing worse. If he could've done anything different you'd be staring at something entirely different.

Awwww w w w Reality ! ! ! ! 










OOOhhh h h h h Fantasy ! ! ! !

that's all folks ! ! ! ! !

First rains of this season. . .

Wow!! awesome! fantastic!!! all adjectives become cliche' if i were to use them to describe how it feels to experience the first rains of the season. It was something much more and much beyond my ability to express, what was quite simply - inexplicable....
Just as i am typing this today, a day after the first rains, while its still raining [drizzling] on the terrace of my home in the countryside, i can't help but draw parallels between the experiences of the first rains this year and the year before. I remember i was caught at red light at a traffic signal last year, when i was heading to my favourite coffee shop last year. I was at the coffee shop when the dark clouds enveloped the usually bright evening sky. Unlike last year i had nothing with me that was vulnerable to the rains this season and i was out in the open in a matter of minutes after seeing the rain drops soaking up the summer dust....
What makes this season's rain even more special was that i was free. I wasn't running away from anything or anyone unlike the year before. I was ready to run in to everything and everyone.

hah its getting boring now for me to write. I can't recount the exact events of my life, they are better of experienced. When the uncertainty of anything lasting long or returning soon is looming large, we tend to hold on to it just a li'l longer when we get it. Its one of those kind of experiences that'll remain special of the rains this seasons. I bid goodbye to my friends way too late at night and decided to head home, to where I am right now sitting to put things together for you to read it another day....

Days have gone by and i am still recounting the experience of the first rains of this season. In fact when i started or wanted to write it wasn't about the rains itself. It was more of the contrasts that i saw of the first rains of the last year and this year. Well, you know it how it was the last year and this year, I woke up the following day to a whole new experience that i couldn't have imagined the year before. I saw that the green was a tad greener. . . smell of the mud was much more evident and the farmer on the plot next to mine was out in the fields doing what he does best. Birds were chirpier than usual and the farmer in me was happy to see the land soaked in water and the photographer in me was lazy to capture anything. . . . And like always - the end is going to be as simple as it always is, it will come. . . like it is with falling in love once you're in it, the rest is all about falling out of it. . . . you never know when it is that it is the last rains rain but when the season ends you'll know it, that its been a long wait for the first rains once again. . . .   

so long and so little. . . .

long refers to time and little refers to what's done. . . if blog-space is a place to indicate or reflect what's done or being done by one in a period of time, then here's the truth - for so long its only so little.

all that's been done, sometimes cannot be judged by the visible evidence, for at times you cannot show it. It takes just a little longer even if what's done is so little . . .sometimes its just worth the wait. . .  like we wait for another day to dawn, to be lived.

We don't wait or live in the hope of dying tomorrow. Do we? Am I being too optimistic in believing that there are others like me who believe there's hope of tomorrow? I live in the hope of living tomorrow, for I cannot live life like its my last day. I for one, cannot imagine myself living every passing day like its my last day. I for one, cannot live a hopeless life. I for one cannot live in hopelessness. . . and so, in the hope of  all the tomorrows to come - so long from now there will be so much. . . . DONE!!!!