in pursuit of happiness!!! and i am adding 'the goodbye' now after writing everything!

someday, you will find it! in fact you'll find it everyday once you get to that some day! I haven't been writing writing anything at all for a long time now and this is my attempt to polish it up. last i remember writing was a story and when the story turned ugly i stopped writing for i wanted to tell a beautiful story. the story wasn't heading to the end i wanted and thus i stopped writing that story. then i chose to re write the whole story but never dared to ink the first words! it will take a while before i get down to business once again!

I have been looking forward to that someday ever since, i stopped writing that story. its right around the corner. i will be all by myself on top of the hill looking at the sun set across the mountains. I will be riding there. next month. less than a month from now i will have started my ride going wherever the road takes me before i reach where i have to be. i might even take a detour to witness the end of history. i mean i might just ride to mumbai and catch a glimpse of sachin's final game. its just a co-incidence that he'll be playing his last game when i will be about 200kms from the venue and its one temptation i will wishfully succumb to.

i am losing it! i am longer excited by what i am writing. i know what has been missing. its the little things i no longer sit back and take notice of before i ink my words. I promise myself that i will write a story that i and only i should love to read more than anyone else. I will keep my eyes and ears open and when i see or hear anything that i feel is worth being a part my story i will write it. until then, yatisa says goodbye.

aaahh, this is going to be fun. what the fuck are you doing? i asked myself. you have already said good bye! and good bye means its the end of the story and you have nothing more to say? may be i had something more to say. Then why say goodbye? i never knew until i said good bye that i had something more to offer. what makes you think that you can afford to say anything you like to say after having said goodbye. what makes you think that you can comeback at will and say what you feel like for no one expects you to say a thing after you have said good bye! so next time you say a good bye be sure you have nothing more to say and if you think you have anything more to say after you have said goodbye just make sure you start afresh and say it all, all over again, for, after you said it no one looks back to see if you have something more to say. every body knows when one says goodbye and just in case you're not sure, you can always choose to say see you later, i said to myself! haha

goodbye! 

in the afterlife!

our spirit has this tendency to leave the body when it finds the body in the middle of a wrong place, its important that the body follows the spirit or the spirit is in love with the bodY!!
and that's a state of nirvana!

there was a reason i started writing! i felt like it! i just felt like writing what i loved to read!
no wonder i haven't written anything in a while!

on a date with a woman who loved her EGO!

"This Manifesto is not issued in the name of an organization or a movement. I speak only for myself. There is no romantic movement today. If there is to be one in the art of the future, this book will have helped it to come into being."

ayn rand

chase the mavericks n live like jay!

 i now know what it feels like to fulfill one of those things 'to do before you die'. . . what i learned will only make my list a li'l longer!!! lifw is way too long to have a very short list of things to do!!!
will brag on my blog, whatever else i have to say!

 hmmm. . . whenever it is that i sleep tonight, i will sleep like the dead and if and when i wake up, it will be my afterlife!!!

what you are about to read is being written now following a time that led me here. how? is explained in the lines above! 

there are things you have to do and things you want to do! and then there are things you always wanted to do. this is not about those 'things' but doing. yesterday was one such day when the universe conspired as they say to give me that opportunity to live a dream. 

you can't make an opportunity but when that opportunity comes to you you just have to do it! not everything will be perfectly set. you may not be ready for it just yet. but there's no other time that's best for you to do it than right now! for you know when its not done now you will eventually give up on that dream or wait for another opportunity when everything is perfectly set for you to do it! there's no such time. there's no feeling better than doing it the first time for you are going to be giving it your all against all odds. you may not be the best at all times but this one time you will be at your best for if tomorrow never comes you'll not be saying to yourself, i should've done it, that day. 

once you do it, there's a sense of peace that your mind embraces and is never going to make you think of doing the same thing again and if your best is all that was necessary, then opportunity will find you and you don't have to wait! 

here in comes to play our desire to want more of what we always wanted to do, after you do it for the first time. and especially when you've got a reason to believe that you are as good as you always thought you are, thus having that urge all along to do it at-least just once! you 'll now want to do it better but more importantly you want to do it again! and again! from being one of those 'things to do' before you die, it elevates itself to being the only thing you don't mind doing it for the rest of your life. and of course, why not?! 

but this too shall end! and then what? have you got any more things to do, that you always wanted to do for now you can no longer do that other thing you always wanted to do.

yes that is all about it! now coming to the writing part of it, it still doesn't seem like its me writing it unless i write everything i feel like writing, without stopping myself from writing, while writing in search of meaning. much like how i wrote the last line! i don't care if i don't get another day when i get to do that thing i have already done even if it is something that i have always wanted to do, at least once. for that night of the day i did what i always wanted to do, i chose to sleep like i was dead and when i woke up in my afterlife i know i have many more things that i always wanted to do! until then i have other mundane things that i have to do in order to get there. and once again, i will sleep like the dead! see you on the flip-side of death! catch you in my afterlife!

 for now i wonder what you feel like to be reading a memoir of a man waking up in his afterlife! :P

change!!!!

forget all that i've ever said, its old and . . . i have something new!!!

i was wondering about time sometime back n wandered into a place where i realized that time is nothing but change. . . a change in what is. and that reinstates the line - time changes everything.

everyday when i look forward to another day i see that there's possibility of something new happening. new is not always to my liking and neither to my dislike. its only when it comes and goes that i know whether i liked it or not and by then it is already what happened and locked away in the past, the unchangeable. I can no longer look forward to seeing it again. what i can is look forward to what can happen to what has happened from here on.

We're are all heading towards a point in time. we know the point but not the time. not knowing it is as scary as knowing it!! 

I will be a storyteller and i will tell the story in the only way i know. and for that you got to wait for me to return. as you wait along look forward to a change! one tiny change at a moment and you'll have live a lifetime and by then even if it means you've reached that point in time you were always headed, you can surrender to the obvious! with peace! to be at peace!

Crossroads and a wrong turn!

how often do you intentionally take a wrong turn? especially when you know where you're headed! well, its been quite some time now since i intentionally took a wrong turn and still enjoyed it. i enjoyed it 'cos it was intentional in the first place, i knew i wasn't missing anything at any turn i was to take. my destination was where i would be at the end of the ride. oh boy! what a place it was to be! every wrong turn was a right turn, when its intentional! now i wish to ride again in all the turns i never took at every crossroad on that day! intentionally!

but the question is- what do you do when you unintentionally take a wrong turn?!

you don't know it yet that the turn you just took is a wrong turn. you don't know yet that the road you're on is taking you far away from your destination. you're now, no longer familiar with the landscape that's welcoming you around every corner. and every corner turns out to be a nightmare of your worst fears! how long would you go on, on the same road that's scaring the shit out of you, with every turn turning out to be wrong, no matter how much you hope it leads you back in the right direction. and you're losing time!

the question is what do you do?! NOW! you're now far and deep into the wrong route and everything you needed is moving in the right direction while you're the only one stranded on a road unknown. what do you do?!!! huh! tough choice this. if everything you ever needed to go on was on this wrong route, you wouldn't have had a second thought of what you need to do now! everything you need is on another road and moving ahead in the right direction and here you are, with every inch you move and every turn you take, heading further and farther from what you need to go. what do you do NOW?!

you're now at another crossroad now! this unlike all other roads you took to get here doesn't physically exist. its the choice you have to make in your own mind. how do you make it all right? can you? will you make a choice to move ahead picking yourself up in the unknown road or would you choose to return to the right route? do you still believe everything you ever needed would still be there when you return? if not, would you have the energy and the time to ride faster than you had to, to catch up with everything you need to go on! ! ! ! 

 oooohh ohho ohh ohh wait wait! ! ! wait!

its not that easy after all. not if you make a choice to return, you need to know the first wrong turn you made and more importantly all other turns you took unaware of where they're taking you. 

and thus when you know all the wrong routes you took to get here and you know you have the energy and the time on your side to ride faster to catch up with all that's gone ahead in the right direction, its here at this crossroad that you take a U-TURN and return to another crossroad where you made the first wrong turn. if this is the choice you make, your first crossroad now becomes your 'new destination'! 

new destination of the same old ride! 

and when you do make that choice to return, you will know that you wouldn't need the energy and the time you had thought you would need when you made the decision 'cos without you, everything you needed too cannot go too far ahead!!! it'll all be stranded at that very crossroad! your new destination!

hope after all is not a bad thing and being hopelessly hopeful is . . . . ?! your ride will tell and you'll know!!!