Same old shitty experiment.....

to see where and how to start anything new and find out what fills into the space in between the start and the finish....Before i typed the last line I was wondering if I should type this line that follows before that. I want you to read the first line in the same breath as you read the topic of the post above and this definitely isn't the beginning. But then i chose to say what is already said before I said what I intended to say.... For me both work just as fine as the other as long as both find a time and place in what i do while I do what I am doing.

After having said all that i had in my mind to say, I am now staring into the screen of my laptop with no idea of what to do next. I am continuing to wonder... I wonder if all this makes any sense. I wonder if there's any meaning in what i am doing. I wonder if I should just post it for I have already said why I am doing what I am doing. I wonder when is the time that is right to just click that button that will make it available to the whole world... I wonder how is that world that I may never see which is in access to what I feel about this very moment. I wonder If times stands still till I make that decision to do.... I wonder if all that I can only do is WONDER at the wonder of this wonder called 'whatever that one may call it but which a few choose to call it A WONDERFUL life'. I am still wondering or wandering still, Am I ?!

Without any fear of making mistakes I am continuing to ponder over the eventuality of getting somewhere anywhere where I may find I wonder what... But anything is welcome with open arms wide spread, wide enough to accommodate even more....

Looking down at the bottom of the screen I can now see an orange button that says publish now and the one next to it thats been constantly saving while i am toggling between other tabs trying to socialize on one page and check mail on the other... and the third one says Preview.... I beginning to wonder once again if preview is going to be any different from what I already know. And then there's this cautionary blinker that pops up every time the second button tries to automatically save 'All' my effort from the last 45 minutes to say these words that's so discouraging to continue doing what I am doing.... It says "An error occurred while trying to save".....

And that's the point I decided not try and save this into my draft nor see the preview of what I already know but instead press the button that says - publish post....sorry for eating away few precious minutes of your life But I see there are PARALLELS that can be DRAWN....

from darkness to light n back. . . .

Well all things come in here. when i say all it means a lot of things.Things like why I have not posted anything on my blog for so long and what are the things that's running mockery in my mind so on and so forth. . . But then most of the the questions have more or less the same answers or at least i can just say one thing and make you believe its the answer. . . and that is circumstances if I may say so.
Here i might even want to say how i regret being unable to post anything in the months of may and june and How i miss the two months on my archive list but then Its alright to miss a few things every now and then. You know, there's some sort of delusional satisfaction at your mercy to console yourself when you are in a situation you dare not imagine yourself being in the middle of one but in reality your are sailing right through one. . . In troubled waters you become your own strength. . .

All that i wanted to say or write or whatever that means right to the reader was, what I just did in the basement. I was drinking my Foster's beer and walking around with a smoke in my hand in the basement of my office...oops I almost forgot to mention in darkness. In fact what i forgot or remembered late or last was the most important thing that i wanted to say. I was intending to share with you the comfort of darkness over light.

As I told you earlier While walking in the dark i stumbled upon something under my feet. Feeling the same with my feet I kicked that thing around to light, first of all to see what it was and then decide what to do with it. In light i saw that it was, a tiny li'l coconut that might have fallen, separated from the tree, unable to bear with the force of the gusting winds, what ever be the reason, it was in the basement in the darkness and now in light but right under my feet.

I looked at the tiny thing on the floor and decided to kick it out of my sight through the gate. I placed it in light at a comfortable distance so that I could run in and kick the coconut out... Ran in hard and as luck of one us would have it, I missed the shot... The nut still remained in light on the floor of the basement. Ran in once again and this time I made sure i made contact with the nut but All that i could muster was brush the tip of the nut and the nut just rolled a few yards and settled at a distance....

One last time i told myself and with all the focus and conviction to get that thing out of my sight I ran in once again and kicked the nut towards the gate...the contact was just perfect, the direction was even better.... the nut went exactly where I intended until it hit that thin 6mm flat in the gate and rebounded back into the basement, into the light and slowly rolled back and slipped away into the darkness. . . .

I learned a thing or two about the comfort of being lost in the darkness in that small act in the middle of the night, with a heavy head just about buzzing, As for you you can choose to be either a nut in the basement safely lost in the darkness or myself waiting for that light with a little comfort. . . But in the act If you see yourself being me, just experience everything with eyes WIDE shut.....