Feb 14, 2013

Crossroads and a wrong turn!

how often do you intentionally take a wrong turn? especially when you know where you're headed! well, its been quite some time now since i intentionally took a wrong turn and still enjoyed it. i enjoyed it 'cos it was intentional in the first place, i knew i wasn't missing anything at any turn i was to take. my destination was where i would be at the end of the ride. oh boy! what a place it was to be! every wrong turn was a right turn, when its intentional! now i wish to ride again in all the turns i never took at every crossroad on that day! intentionally!

but the question is- what do you do when you unintentionally take a wrong turn?!

you don't know it yet that the turn you just took is a wrong turn. you don't know yet that the road you're on is taking you far away from your destination. you're now, no longer familiar with the landscape that's welcoming you around every corner. and every corner turns out to be a nightmare of your worst fears! how long would you go on, on the same road that's scaring the shit out of you, with every turn turning out to be wrong, no matter how much you hope it leads you back in the right direction. and you're losing time!

the question is what do you do?! NOW! you're now far and deep into the wrong route and everything you needed is moving in the right direction while you're the only one stranded on a road unknown. what do you do?!!! huh! tough choice this. if everything you ever needed to go on was on this wrong route, you wouldn't have had a second thought of what you need to do now! everything you need is on another road and moving ahead in the right direction and here you are, with every inch you move and every turn you take, heading further and farther from what you need to go. what do you do NOW?!

you're now at another crossroad now! this unlike all other roads you took to get here doesn't physically exist. its the choice you have to make in your own mind. how do you make it all right? can you? will you make a choice to move ahead picking yourself up in the unknown road or would you choose to return to the right route? do you still believe everything you ever needed would still be there when you return? if not, would you have the energy and the time to ride faster than you had to, to catch up with everything you need to go on! ! ! ! 
 oooohh ohho ohh ohh wait wait! ! ! wait!
its not that easy after all. not if you make a choice to return, you need to know the first wrong turn you made and more importantly all other turns you took unaware of where they're taking you. 

and thus when you know all the wrong routes you took to get here and you know you have the energy and the time on your side to ride faster to catch up with all that's gone ahead in the right direction, its here at this crossroad that you take a U-TURN and return to another crossroad where you made the first wrong turn. if this is the choice you make, your first crossroad now becomes your 'new destination'! 
new destination of the same old ride! 
and when you do make that choice to return, you will know that you wouldn't need the energy and the time you had thought you would need when you made the decision 'cos without you, everything you needed too cannot go too far ahead!!! it'll all be stranded at that very crossroad! your new destination!
hope after all is not a bad thing and being hopelessly hopeful is . . . . ?! your ride will tell and you'll know!!!

Dec 8, 2012

the search. . .

Wat search ?!. . . i don't know, some kinda experiment to just see where i reach at the end of it all. so, where do i start - the search.

search - in literal terms means - Try to find something by looking or otherwise seeking carefully and thoroughly.
try means - make an attempt or effort to do something!
find - discover or perceive by chance or unexpectedly!
 something - a thing that is unspecified or unknown!
looking -  have a view or outlook in a specified direction!
otherwise - in circumstances different from those present or considered
seeking - attempt or desire to obtain or achieve
 carefully - taking care or paying attention
thoroughly - in an exhaustive manner. . .
hmmm. . . . let me just continue. . .with the BS!

now my search means something like this -[make an attempt or effort to do something!] to [discover or perceive by chance or unexpectedly!] [a thing that is unspecified or unknown!] by [having a view or outlook in a specified direction!] or [ in circumstances different from those present or considered] [attempt or desire to obtain or achieve] [taking care or paying attention] and [in an exhaustive manner. . . ]!

now have i understood the meaning of search?!. . . WELL, it means much more. . .or does it? is it getting complicated the more you try to understand or is it getting more diluted as you continue to search?! still the question remains unasked - What SEARCH?! or search WHAT? without understanding 'how' it is that we have to search for what we're searching for, how on earth can we go ahead and say it aloud, "the search for the meaning of life!" want to know more now. . . go ahead, now u know - how?! hmm, i guess how here is an answer and hence how. and not how?!. now that's about it. but if you wish to go on, then its.......

make means form (something) by putting parts together
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discover - Become aware of!
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unknown - stranger!
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outlook - general attitude to life
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circumstances - a fact or condition connected with or relevant to an event or action.
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attempt - an act of trying to achieve something!
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attention - the mental faculty of considering or taking notice of someone or something!
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exhaustive -  examining, including, or considering all elements or aspects
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 may you find the search for the meaning of life and let the world know and i'll be waiting! haha :)

two worlds . . . .

a moment here and a moment there, a step here and a step there. . . . thats how i live in a world of my own, can also be read a fantasy and real world . . . . .
if somebody gave me choice to pick one and leave the other, will i ever be able to make that call. i don't know. i can never be sure. why would i spend a moment here and a moment there. may be its because you need both in equal measure or else, one would never have fantasized or he who fantasizes may have never returned. with every passing moment we seek something, not really sure if we are sure of what we're seeking but nevertheless we seek. Its more of a question. until you find or get an answer, you can take solace in the other world.

BS. . . I know ! ! !

now if i end up posting this